Keepin' Down The Urges.
05/06/2007 |
Teachatorium
Have you ever played doctor with your friends? Of
course you have, I've watched you. But what I watch
and record for my own personal enjoyment without your
knowledge isn't the focus of this message. The focus
is, however, the way you feel when you play doctor.
Which, based on your facial expressions, which I've
studied closely, is the same way I feel while
watching you play doctor.
What you may not know kids, is that playing doctor, especially in full view of an uncle, is not appropriate behavior according to law enforcement and mental health professionals. What these "professionals" don't understand is that these urges aren't a bad thing. And in my case, aren't even controllable.
So, what you have to do as responsible young children is to pretend you don't have them. If you feel like you might want to play doctor with that new boy down the street with the strawberry blond hair and soul piercing blue eyes, you should immediately come to me and tell me all the things you want to do to him. Tell me very slowly and don't leave out any of the details. This way, you'll realize it's probably not something you really want to do. I'll even record you telling me about it and if you feel like you may want to do it at some later date, you can come over to my place and we can turn the lights down low and watch it together. In robes.
That's good for the short term. But to become a fully functional and well adjusted adult, like me, you're going to need some pretty strong coping mechanisms. First of all, realize that you cannot deny the natural urges you feel in your heart and crotch. Those are the yearnings that separate us from the animals. You have to learn to embrace them, but only in private.
So, whenever you feel an urge to do something unimaginably erotic with a young and bendy friend, go to your room, turn the lights down really low and make sure you are all alone with absolutely no adults anywhere around. Then, walk slowly and sensuously to your window and open it because I'll be in the bushes outside. Just waiting and watching.
We can share a beautiful series of moments together. A private and secret series of moments. So private, in fact, that you can't tell anyone about it. Ever.
-Uncle KingLuscious
What you may not know kids, is that playing doctor, especially in full view of an uncle, is not appropriate behavior according to law enforcement and mental health professionals. What these "professionals" don't understand is that these urges aren't a bad thing. And in my case, aren't even controllable.
So, what you have to do as responsible young children is to pretend you don't have them. If you feel like you might want to play doctor with that new boy down the street with the strawberry blond hair and soul piercing blue eyes, you should immediately come to me and tell me all the things you want to do to him. Tell me very slowly and don't leave out any of the details. This way, you'll realize it's probably not something you really want to do. I'll even record you telling me about it and if you feel like you may want to do it at some later date, you can come over to my place and we can turn the lights down low and watch it together. In robes.
That's good for the short term. But to become a fully functional and well adjusted adult, like me, you're going to need some pretty strong coping mechanisms. First of all, realize that you cannot deny the natural urges you feel in your heart and crotch. Those are the yearnings that separate us from the animals. You have to learn to embrace them, but only in private.
So, whenever you feel an urge to do something unimaginably erotic with a young and bendy friend, go to your room, turn the lights down really low and make sure you are all alone with absolutely no adults anywhere around. Then, walk slowly and sensuously to your window and open it because I'll be in the bushes outside. Just waiting and watching.
We can share a beautiful series of moments together. A private and secret series of moments. So private, in fact, that you can't tell anyone about it. Ever.
-Uncle KingLuscious
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